Jingle Bells - Akatsuki Style
by Chris Rode
Summary: Got the idea from Shichiya's version, but these lyrics are different :P If you know Hidan, you know this is gonna be either gory or yaoi XD *Rated T for Hidan*
1. Chapter 1: HidanxKakuzu

I was trudging through the snow  
With this lame fucker  
He is really old  
And a fucking bastard too!

The sting of slicing pain  
Makes me see the light  
Oh what joy it is to kill  
Everyone tonight!

Oh, fucking hell, fucking hell  
Fucking shitty hell  
Oh how I'd love to rip his head off right now  
Oh, fucking hell, fucking hell  
Fucking shitty hell  
Oh how I'd love to rip his head off right now

We were in the Land of Snow  
He said take a right  
And soon we were in each other's faces  
Yelling "Take a hike!"

I flipped him off in anger  
He grabbed my wrist and yanked  
He pulled me to him quick and fast  
And I found his face 'to think!'

A day or two had passed  
Since that fateful night  
He was surprised to hear no sass  
But guessed that's alright

I finally found the right words  
And turned to him to say  
He gave me a look of worry  
But quickly turned away

I ran to face him then  
Face red of thought snow  
Said "Look here, old man,  
"There's somethin' I wanna know!"

"There's nothing to say" he said  
"Just let me go"  
"Haha, no way, old man!  
"I still gotta know!"

I leaned up on my tip-toes  
Pulled down his mask  
Brushed mine with his nose  
Didn't even have to ask


	2. Chapter 2: DeidaraxSasori

We were arguing, per norm  
About the better art  
He says it's everlasting  
But I say it's a blast!

Of course he disagrees  
The argument never ends  
Can't he see, to some degree  
I wanna be more than friends?

Oh, danna please, danna please  
Won't you please just see?  
I don't wanna fight with you, can't you be with me?  
Oh, danna please, danna please  
Won't you please just see?  
I don't wanna fight with you, can't you be with me?

Where did the time go?  
It's getting pretty late  
We better get to bed soon  
"Do you wanna share, un?"

He looks at me with shock  
Surprise clear in his eyes  
I shake my head and lock  
The door to where my room lies

A day or two went by  
We avoid each other pointly  
I can't bare to meet his eyes  
Is he disappointed?

I finally man up  
And look at him with question  
He glances back at me  
But dares not to start conversation

I say, "So what's the big deal?  
"Am I that bad?  
"Do you really hate me so,  
"That you can't share a bed?"

He sighs and turns to me  
Seriousness shining bright  
He says, "Are you that thick, brat?  
"I've been thinking about that night."

And at last we succumb  
To lust's tightened grasp  
A night to remember  
The one true art that lasts


	3. Chapter 3: KisamexItachi

It's the same every day  
With a stoic bastard like he  
Not that I paid much mind  
But it really irked me

'Itachi Uchiha'  
A feared, renowned name  
And who was I to question  
Such a cold-hearted fame?

Oh Uchiha, Uchiha  
What is wrong with me?  
Why do I get this feeling when you're near me?  
Oh Uchiha, Uchiha  
What is wrong with me?  
Why do I get this feeling when you're near me?

It wasn't long ago  
That we first met  
Such a fateful day  
One childishly spent

His cold, dull black eyes  
Always calculating things  
Why can't he ever look at me  
With some damn feelings?

I try not to be blunt  
But it's just too hard to refrain  
We're on a Jinchuuriki hunt  
Not on our way to sexting

Maybe I'm delusional  
Maybe it's not meant to be  
Then why do I still get so hot  
When you're here next to me?

It wasn't too long after  
That he looked at me and said,  
"What is the matter?  
"You look almost...fish-dead."

I couldn't keep from smiling  
I got some emotion yet!  
I didn't have the power  
To keep myself from his bed

I received no resistance  
Much to my delight  
It was his very existence  
That made my whole night!


	4. Chapter 4: TobixZetsu

I was frolicking around  
Playing in the snow  
Glad that Zetsu-sempai  
Didn't yell, "Let's go!"

If I wasn't one of wiser  
I could blame my imagination  
But I think I caught his smile  
And no sign of indignation

Oh, sempai, sempai  
You're such a pretty thing!  
I know you don't think so, but no need for watering  
Oh sempai, sempai  
You're such a pretty thing!  
I know you don't think so, but no need for watering

I ran to him with joy  
A smile hidden under cover  
Said, "Is Tobi a good boy?"  
He smiled and, "Sure, butter-nugger."

I threw my arms around him  
Receiving a chuckle in return  
I realized I loved him  
As more than a partner

He hugged me back and said,  
"Would you like to see something?"  
I blushed under cover  
And nodded, my blood rushing

He led me to the base  
The way to our room  
Held me face to face  
My heart went "_vroom vroom!_"

And from that day forth  
I could no longer say,  
"Tobi is a good boy!"  
But didn't mind either way

Zetsu-sempai is my teacher  
Maybe a lover, too  
I never thought I'd reach a  
State of emotion with Zetsu

So, in short my story goes  
I was playing in the snow  
And then Zetsu came  
I was never a good boy again!


	5. Chapter 5: KonanxPein

It started early on  
No way to stop it  
An unstoppable bomb  
Blowing up a fit

I kept it hidden well  
But one day wondered  
Maybe just a chance  
I can take the risk

Oh Pein-sama, Pein-sama  
I wanted you to know  
I'm so deeply in love with you I can't turn back now  
Oh Pein-sama, Pein-sama  
I wanted you to know  
I'm so deeply in love with you I can't turn back now

His eyes were bewildered  
Of such a sudden outburst  
He stood frozen for a moment  
And longer still to wait

And finally he said,  
Shock still in his eyes,  
"Konan, I'm not dead,  
"I can see through your lies."

My face fell with despair  
A risk not taken well  
I stumbled out of the lair  
Muttering, "What the hell?"

How could he be so cruel  
To his childhood friend?  
Could it be that this tool  
Has altered him to no end?

But then I remembered  
There's one more thing to try  
I ran back to the base  
Trying hard not to cry

I took him by surprise  
When I ran up to him  
I locked onto his eyes  
And reached up to kiss him

We stood a moment still  
Before I pulled away  
But he pulled me back  
Saying, "Please just stay."


End file.
